Saturday, March 5, 2011

LA Noir: Did I just get roofied?

Happenings on the LA Buses

No seriously.  For about 8 minutes, I really wondered.  I even came up with a plan...if I felt my legs go tingly, I would turn to the little old mexican lady sitting next to me, tell her "I've just eaten roofie ridden gum.  Please help." And pray she spoke english. 

Okay, here it is.  I'm not exactly sure why, but a few times since I've started riding the bus, some men have given me little packets of unopened chiclets.  Usually it goes something like this, a man sitting or standing near, leans over, smiles and hands me a pack of chiclets. "For you."  I love gum.  So yeah, I'm gonna smile, take the gum, open it and we'll each have a piece.  Sometimes, there's a little talking after, which no joke first question has on 3 different occasions been "You're Russian?"  "uh, haha, no, why do people think that?"  Usually, there's a bit of a language barrier, and that's about all to the story.  Time on the bus passes a little faster talking to someone, and I end up with a pack of chiclets, win win.  Except last week, I took some gum from this guy, and it was definitely an opened package.  I had this fleeting thought as I popped it in my mouth, remembering those horror stories elementary teachers tell around halloween to never take open candy from strangers when you're trick-or-treating, or ever.  I thought, oh wow, this gum was already opened, what did I just do.  No for real, I think I feel weird.  Oh no. Enter ridiculous, overanalyzed, neurotic stream of conscious here.  Short story long, the guy was in fact just being nice.  He gave me a piece of gum, that's it.  And, also, the little old mexican lady did speak english.

UPDATE: it's been hypothesized that maybe these dudes think I'm a Russian prostitute able to be bought with chiclets.  Fat chance.  I expect at least Mint Mojito Orbit before we can even talk.

More stories from the "underside" later.

1 comment:

Jeffro said...

Yes you did get roofied, you just don't remember. Stop taking chidklets from strangers on the bus because they are a gateway candy to harder stuff.